so this is what rejection feels like...

I don't know where to start... i went to the club .. saw a fore mentioned hot guy... we'll call him "sexy L" cause that what he is ... i asked a waitress if he was single ... she said yes .. but he doesn't come with recommendations cause she doesn't really know.. so she sent him over to me...
and he asked me why i asked for him ..so i had to explain the situation...

she the waitress asked me what i wanted to drink ... i said i wanted sexy L to drink... to which he replied quite nicely .. i don't think i will fit in a glass ... then disappeared ... he was very busy ... sigh .. so this is what rejection feels like ... i don't like it ... and then shortly after that bbg... comes strolling in with a group of friends .. waves hello, hugs me, kisses both of my cheeks and asks me how my Christmas was ... and of course i played it off like it was fine .. and whatever .. but I'm lonely .. and i just want to feel special to someone i find attractive.. and I'm certain its just not happening for me right now .. i know I'm supposed to let things go .. and let love find me but i feel as though that's not the case at all ... i don't want to be alone forever because i just gave up ... under the idea that I'm letting love find me.

it took alot for me to approach him... I'm heartbroken and crushed ... I am not a happy camper.