Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Weird night

Omg out partying and wtf Cockzilla sexy l and mr med school all in the motherfucking club. Forming some sort of weird strange sex / love square ..man wtf can it get any stranger


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Sunday, March 11, 2012

loneliness

I miss the days when all i did was work 16 hour days so much so that  i forgot i was lonely... I can only hope that i get to work as much again so i can forget that i go everywhere by myself and do everything alone... my friends told me i need a new hobby... if travelling was my new hobby i'd do that alone too... it would be nice to do things with someone i actually like ... like go to the beach and have a really awesome conversation / not or just read a book while vegging just to have someone to turn to and say something completely random to like " i love coming to the beach to watch the waves crash against the shore its so peaceful"

sexy L again...

 i cannot understand this guy.. I went out with my girls last night and i see my crush and give him a huge hug & tell him he smells soooo good ... and he says "i taste good too, oops no i didnt say that" ...so i say oh really? make eye contact for like 5 seconds smile and walk inside the club with my gf.. 10 mins later he positions himself in the club to watch me and has his friend check me out too... all night i catch him looking at me ... so i leave with my friends go to tell him i might be coming back & he tells me to behave myself.. an hour later I get back to the club ... and he seemed excited to see me back by myself anyway club closes and i ask him to walk me to my car and he refuses :-( and suggests one of the bouncers ...I tell him i dont bite and ask him if hes afraid of me and he says yes so i ask why and he says cause of the things i post on facebook.. so i remind him that most of the things he sees i set my privacy settings so its only visible to him ...  wtf ???

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Just fed up

I got off work at midnight my house id three minutes away ... its after twelve thirty .. and im still waiting for my bro in law to pick me up ... wtf?  This id what pisses me off with them ... they are never on time to get me but will take forever . And then justify it by saying he don't feel right picking up his sister in law before his wife .... im so fucking pissed 37 minutes late


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Monday, February 20, 2012

sexy L

i remember the first time i saw him... he was so golden .. he was wearing jeans, a dress shirt, and a maroon velvet jacket... i was sitting in the corner of a coffee shop feeling sorry for myself ... attempting to drown my self pity in the caffeine . i glanced up and he was so beautiful he made my heart stop beating, and i stopped breathing and for a split second... our eyes met.. and i burned my tongue on my coffee.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

bbg...we meet again

Sigh ... him and his cock... Just plain trouble.  so i went to a birthday party a couple weeks ago.. a nice guy i had friend zoned invited me omg it was a fucking disaster... it rained off and on the birthday girl got wasted and kept announcing that she wanted to leave the restuarant and go somewhere else...needless to say since we all arrived in seperate cars i ditched the entire dinner party and went to sexy l's club .. where i proceeded to drink all alone.. got hit on by some weird looking creeper serial killer look alike then some house wife woma hit on me... then the cutest little canadian guy shows up arm covered in tattoos . lets cut to the chase .... he wore jeans ... just regular blue jeans ... oh they looked so sexy on him and i could see the outline of his semi hard cock in them and it looked like heaven.. so i pretended like i didnt see him all night until he approached me and said hello cheek kiss .. how ya doing, nice to see you, who you out with etc... and as usual im out by myself, doing good blah blah blah... ... maybe next time i see him i'll whisper something dirty in his ear to see if he could hide the erection...

anyway .. i got bored around midnight and left the club and hung out outside with the bouncers drinking water .. and staying out of the rain when bbg walks out of the club and i yell his name and order him to walk me to my car. he seemed happy enough to do so, he even held my pink umbrella for me... lol chivalry in the name of getting laid .. so i drive him to the beach .. and we proceed to fuck in the car

finding that inner peace

I realised something ... Ive been running away from myself, running away from my past running away from who i really am ... trying to change who i am and what i have become. I don't know why i have been doing this and i don't know who the hell i am trying to please either but i haven't been happy not for a while I'm fixing that. last night i went out got completely wasted don't know how the hell i got home ..but i realised something i wasn't horny, or feeling lonely, or feeling needy or any of that i think i might have healed myself in some weird self destructive behavior.