finding that inner peace

I realised something ... Ive been running away from myself, running away from my past running away from who i really am ... trying to change who i am and what i have become. I don't know why i have been doing this and i don't know who the hell i am trying to please either but i haven't been happy not for a while I'm fixing that. last night i went out got completely wasted don't know how the hell i got home ..but i realised something i wasn't horny, or feeling lonely, or feeling needy or any of that i think i might have healed myself in some weird self destructive behavior.