... I'm terrified of rejection

I have the gym in the morning ... I'm kind of excited and kind of nervous... because of how I sped out of the parking lot last Thursday ...I'm such a spaz ... I'm so socially awkward its ridiculous and unecessary, and apparently the trifling hoe that was trying to get with Jeff at the fundraiser .. is also trying to hit on the hot guy at the gym too ... WTF!
I'm feeling weird about that because I am just selfish...
I think I should ask him his name tomorrow, or walk up to him and tell him how I really feel or just ask him if he has a wife ...

The stupid part is I feel like a bored unhappy house wife cause I'm so fixated on this guy .. who has only smiled and eyeballed me for the past couple months and only just recently spoken to me. He is gorgeous though. I am nervous about working out tomorrow ...  cause all I do is run away because of my fear of rejection.

I finally spoke to him ..

Soooo I went to gym this morning, like i do every morning except sat & sun... getting my fitness on, enjoying the burn, feeling good, dressed like a bum! I was wearing an over sized dive t-shirt, gym pants and my head scarf looking very unshapely and bum like.
 Then my best friend says " hey Passion, come here & help me with this" and points to the other side of the gym,and there he was in all his sexiness arms holding on to the lat pull down machine looking like a underwear model.
 I had a heart attack and an orgasm all at once ... needless to say that was the end of my workout. My meddling bestie who thought today was a good day for me to get kicked into the deep end decided she wanted to go workout on that side of the gym & pushed me to ask SWAT for his assistance with a machine that was too hard to adjust... panties soaking wet ... he was happy to help and seemed to jump for the opportunity... God ! I must sound like a creepy stalker ... but he was 6 inches away from my face and I wanted to lick him and taste his salty golden skin... needless to say i was extremely pissed with my bestie as she kept looking at me like the cat who ate the canary & drank the milk too, and of course i kept telling her she wasn't my best friend anymore.  OMG!!! I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I'm a dominant woman and i have never ever had any submissive inclinations or felt what i feel for someone who just until today only spoke a few words " excuse me, can you help us with this?" & "Thank you for helping" ... to which he replied with the most dazzling smile " No problem, Anytime!" ... needless to say by then i had soaked through my panties and could feel the moisture on my thighs as i floated out of the gym with ms. bestie.  So like women we stood in the parking lot discussing how surreal it was for her to witness the stare downs and eye raping, i pointed out his car and we were discussing him quite loudly and didn't realise he had walked out of the gym... to which i quickly said to ms. bestie "I gotta go" jumped in the minivan and hauled ass out of there like i was the driver for a get away car.
Fast forward to me getting home, and Jeff is still sleeping its after 9:30am ...I'm horny as a mofo... go to the bathroom sit on the toilet look out the window .... and see SWAT driving by... he turns around at the corner and speeds back in the direction he came. WTF ??? OMG !!! ... ever so slightly turned on ... no i lie ... i am way turned on by that.  

Euro Vacay James sent me a just checking in email..

here is the last paragraph: ...  I still care about you as someone I shared a very special period of my life with, who helped me grow and made me feel better about myself.  If I don't hear from you, I will respect that you have moved on and for your own reasons do not wish to maintain contact with me.  Otherwise, I hope to hear just that you are doing well and living your life for you.  You have so much to offer, and if I helped you believe in yourself even a tiny bit more, then I will be happy that I could help such a sweet and genuine lady as yourself.

Yours truely.

James.

Now .. wtf ? I'm speachless on this one ...

Passion fruit...

The grey pube..

I have discovered I have a grey pubic hair ... am I even old enough to have  greying pubes ? ... This is so weird on so many levels... im only 27.

Should I leave it or pluck it ?

Passion fruit.

Bitches can't be serious

So Jeff and I went out the other night to a fundraiser party, we had a ball... at least i think we did i was wasted ...lol .. anyway we get home and I'm going through the pictures i took at the party and he asks me specifically about this one girl, then tells me she was looking at him funny all night. fast forward it 3days later i mention it to one of my best girly friends and she says " girl i was supposed to tell you she was asking people about you and Jeff.." then all of a sudden i see she sends me a friend request on face book ... i looked at it and said to myself you know bitches cant be serious about this shit. What the fuck ? why is this bitch trying to be my friend ? these damn trifling hoes need to watch out for me, i carry pepper spray and I'm a sadist.

Passion fruit - Girl with a Fendi bag & a bad attitude.