I have the gym in the morning ... I'm kind of excited and kind of nervous... because of how I sped out of the parking lot last Thursday ...I'm such a spaz ... I'm so socially awkward its ridiculous and unecessary, and apparently the trifling hoe that was trying to get with Jeff at the fundraiser .. is also trying to hit on the hot guy at the gym too ... WTF!
I'm feeling weird about that because I am just selfish...
I think I should ask him his name tomorrow, or walk up to him and tell him how I really feel or just ask him if he has a wife ...
The stupid part is I feel like a bored unhappy house wife cause I'm so fixated on this guy .. who has only smiled and eyeballed me for the past couple months and only just recently spoken to me. He is gorgeous though. I am nervous about working out tomorrow ... cause all I do is run away because of my fear of rejection.
Showing posts with label upset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label upset. Show all posts
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Time for common sense to kick in
Today started out very sleepy, i longed for my bed but instead i chose to go to the gym... why i dunno, but i saw the hot guy there again, i guess i may have creep ed him out by staring too much but if he looked in the mirror maybe he could see the sexy body i was looking at.
on another note Jeff is still away on business, James is not happy with me because I'm staying at Jeff's house while hes away, but he expects me to jump into his bed whenever he demands it on his schedule, as much as i like him and sometimes love him... i cant do that on a promise and an empty one too with nothing to really back it up other than sweet nothings kisses and i couldn't even say promises for the future.
Seriously ..! I'm supposed to leave my bf for someone who has girlfriends <- yes plural i knew this from the start and he knew about Jeff from the start. so i don't get why its bugging him, torture myself by moving back in with my mother so i could be closer to him ... i don't know how since hes leaving in a few days ? doesn't want to come back... fuck it ... i put my self out there i let him know when I'm available if he cant take me up on the offer then its too bad i don't control my schedule neither do i have the luxury of that .
then he shows up on messenger knowing that i was online since 4pm telling me he wished he got my message earlier cause he has the other chick over for dinner and studying and hes exhausted and blah blah blah then flips it around to me saying i was the one who isn't available etc.. this is too much
i love both of them but someone is going to get hurt.... probably me. I'm hurting already.
Passion fruit
on another note Jeff is still away on business, James is not happy with me because I'm staying at Jeff's house while hes away, but he expects me to jump into his bed whenever he demands it on his schedule, as much as i like him and sometimes love him... i cant do that on a promise and an empty one too with nothing to really back it up other than sweet nothings kisses and i couldn't even say promises for the future.
Seriously ..! I'm supposed to leave my bf for someone who has girlfriends <- yes plural i knew this from the start and he knew about Jeff from the start. so i don't get why its bugging him, torture myself by moving back in with my mother so i could be closer to him ... i don't know how since hes leaving in a few days ? doesn't want to come back... fuck it ... i put my self out there i let him know when I'm available if he cant take me up on the offer then its too bad i don't control my schedule neither do i have the luxury of that .
then he shows up on messenger knowing that i was online since 4pm telling me he wished he got my message earlier cause he has the other chick over for dinner and studying and hes exhausted and blah blah blah then flips it around to me saying i was the one who isn't available etc.. this is too much
i love both of them but someone is going to get hurt.... probably me. I'm hurting already.
Passion fruit
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