today's questions...

These are the questions i have asked myself today... looking for the answers.

What is the secret to success & happiness ?
How is it that i could have a love triangle a few months ago and now be so alone ?
Why do we hold onto feelings and yet still remain rational ?

Exit Mr. James

I blew him a kiss as i walked away from him, the rain had just stopped falling and I really didn't want to leave him, it took everything within me to pull myself away from his arms. Earlier i was interrupted while i was professing my love for him and i never got to finish telling him just how deeply i had felt for him; but then after being interrupted so many times and him talking non stop ... i told him i would just be his friend. I could see the devastation on his face, but there were so many unanswered questions and it seemed to me that he deliberately avoided answering those questions that i reminded him about maybe twice... and he still didn't answer so to me it was inevitable that i would have to push him away from me emotionally. I later sent him an email asking him where do we go now... no answer... its been radio silence for five days... Its understandable i guess when you have had your heart broken enough times you toughen up and fight the feelings lurking in the background.

Just before i walked away he told me he didn't want to let me go, and that his body was responding to my hands on his body. i said " well honey, you already know the moment i hear your voice my panties are soaked" as i saw myself walking away i could feel the tightness in my throat build up and the tears burning in my eyes. I had to remember what he looked like because this was the last time i would ever see him. thank god i wore makeup & did my hair.

passion fruit