I did something really really stupid ...

I emailed this hot guy i have a crush on ... via face book .. i sent this to him now i feel like a total idiot: Hey sexy, You look familiar where do i know you from. You showed up in the people i may know list.   ... and stalker because i'm going to his club tomorrow. OMG... i feel like such an idiot ....

On a different note:
I tried quantum jumping today ... talked to my doppelganger self who was beautiful and successful I asked her what the secret was, she told me: "let go & stop trying so hard and love will find me" I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean but I guess I do try too hard at everything, and I over think everything and stress about things not being perfect .. but I am not happy with where I am right now, and I need things to move forward but they just seem like I'm swimming in quick sand with all of my goals... so far the only one I made progress with is losing some weight... and even that is kinda ridiculous I've only lost 20lbs I was hoping for 10 lbs a month ... :-(

I'm feeling a bit weirded out by the whole look within ones self for the answers but I guess letting go is the best way to start.

Passion Fruit. 

Just busy....

Sorry I have not been blogging life has grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me around with it, and I haven't had the energy or inspiration to write.
So...... let me update you with what has been going on in my life.. my friends have taken pity on me in my newly single state and have been looking for nice but naughty young men to set me up with, I'm kind of excited about getting back into dating since the pool here is so shallow I'm grabbing at whatever i can. Kiev my besty with testes says he has a really hot guy to introduce me to on Saturday. the first question out of my mouth was; Is he gay.. ? & he better be hot!.. anyway i checked his ass out on face book ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA he is fucking sexy ! I wanna bite him. I'm gonna have to wait until Saturday to bring out my naughty but sweet side.

My BFF... the lesbo.. found lumps in her breast went to the Doctor to have em checked out and now shes having the lumps removed and getting them checked for cancer... she just had cysts remover from around her ovaries last year.. I don't know.. there's only so much crap a person can take when it comes to their body. I'm her best friend and I'm stressing out because i know shes stressing and everyone is on edge.. but we already have it planned that if she has to have her breasts removed she getting awesome implants and i get to feel them up as much as i want.

Passion fruit.

is there any hope ?

I keep reading all the free romance novels on my kindle, wondering if i should believe in romance and love and all these strange but wonderful stomach butterfly feelings that people so fondly write about. I always question whether or not i will feel those things; the euphoria of being madly in love with someone. what does that feel like ? I know how it feels to have someone madly in love with me but i cant say that i have felt the opposite at the same time that they had those feelings.

I keep holding out for the romantic who is just as hopeless as myself.
Where is he ?